


(How Do You Do It) You Got Me Losing Every Breath

by SereneCalamity



Series: Someone Worth Fighting For [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bartender Steve, Boys Kissing, Bucky finally making a move, First Kiss, M/M, Modern Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Steve's not oblivious, The bar is called the Howling Commandos, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-15 23:15:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18679273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SereneCalamity/pseuds/SereneCalamity
Summary: Bucky he usually goes by the Howling Commandos after work, because he could use a drink, nothing to do with the beautiful blonde behind the counter.





	(How Do You Do It) You Got Me Losing Every Breath

**Author's Note:**

> So. I'm not even gonna discuss how much my heart broke in Endgame. Adored the movie, but...Anyway. I've been meaning to getting around to writing a series for these lovebirds in a while, and I've finally managed to get my shit together! So here's the first one.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the title, which comes from Latch by Disclosure featuring Sam Smith.

James Barnes, better known as Bucky, glanced around the busy bar, and he was glad that there was some unwritten rule that the back couple of tables were reserved for SHIELD members only, because he would have hated being somewhere in the middle, or at the bar itself. This place got busy, not just with SHIELD members, but it was a good spot for a lot of people, mainly of the working class, in their late twenties and older, and people felt relaxed there. He was okay going up to get drinks, and he was okay if he needed to go to the bathroom, but he didn't want to sit in the mess of people, because there was no way that he could relax.

Not that going out anywhere in public ever really made him relax, but he was getting better.

That's what Sharon Carter said, anyway.

And given she was one of the top psychologist employed by SHIELD, he knew that he should believe her, but sometimes when he smelt a certain smell, or was touched a certain way, his mind would just slam into  _fight or flight_  mode, and the next thing he knew, he was spiraling.

"You all good, James?" Natasha Romanova asked, nudging him with her elbow, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts and he jerked his head in a nod. "Clint's going up for another drink, did you want one?"

"I'll help him," Bucky was already getting to his feet and stepping out from around the high tables that they were at, and Natasha gave him an amused look but she didn't say anything as Bucky walked toward the bar, Clint Barton quickly getting up and following after him.

This bar,  _The Howling Commando's_ , was pretty close to the SHIELD base, and it was somewhere that most of the members went on a regular basis. The place was pretty big, but it still somehow felt comforting and familiar, not like the other big bars in the city, and it was obvious that people were comfortable here. And that included Natasha, and Natasha never felt comfortable anywhere. She was the reason that he had first started coming here, because he figured if there was somewhere that Natasha enjoyed—other than a gun range—then he could too. It was as though there was this trust in this place, because once the other patrons had all left, the SHIELD members spoke freely about their missions and their latest investigations.

Maybe it was because the owner was some sort of ex-army captain, and so they trusted him.

Tony Stark clearly did, because he was best friends with said captain.

Steve Rogers.

Who Bucky may or may not have a fucking crush on, like he was a teenager all over again.

Or at least what he imagined feeling like a teenager was like, because his memory was a little spotty before about two years ago.

"Isn't this kid underage?" Clint said jokingly as he reached over to jab Peter Parker in the side who stuck out his tongue in  _very_  mature fashion.

"I'm legal in some places!" Peter shot back and Bucky rolled his eyes. Peter was a sweet kid, and Tony absolutely adored him, but sometimes Bucky did find him a little...Young. Maybe he was also a little jealous, because when he was eighteen years old, he didn't even know where he was. He didn't  _want_  to know where he was. "Hey, Mr Barnes!" Peter waved at him, all cheery smiles although his eyes were a little pinched in the corners, the way they always got when it came to Bucky.

He was used to it.

People were scared of him.

Even though he was on their side now, they were still scared of them.

"Queens is good," Steve said from behind the bar where he had just finished serving two woman who were still lingering around the bar, making eyes at the tall blonde. "He knows he's not allowed to try and order anything, other than food," he raised an eyebrow pointedly at Peter who nodded with a big grin. Steve grinned back at him before looking back at Clint and Bucky, although from the way he was tilting his head, he was looking more at Bucky than Clint.

"Can I get another few beers?" Clint asked and Steve dipped his head in a nod, not needing the archer to tell him what types of beers. He also didn't pour from the tap, he got them out bottles of beer from one of the large fridges since that was what Clint, Natasha and Bucky preferred.

"I'll add it to your tab," Steve said with a smile as he pushed the three over. Clint picked up his and Natasha's and turned to walk back to their table and Bucky stepped forward to pick up his beer. "Hey, Buck," Steve's eyes were warm as they met Bucky's. They made Bucky's whole body feel like it was going to turn to liquid and dissolve into the ground, and it was the best feeling that Bucky had felt in a  _long_  time. "How's it going?"

"It's...Good," Bucky replied with a nod as scratched lightly at the label on the beer bottle.

"I missed you last week," Steve continued, and the way that he talked to Bucky wasn't like anyone else. Most of the people at SHIELD didn't talk to him at all, actually, they avoided him. There was Tony, Natasha and Clint, and they were his...Friends, sort of, he guessed. And then there was Peter, Wanda Maximoff and her brother and Sharon, but they weren't friends, they were just people that...Were around and tried to be nice to him. But Steve...Steve was different.

"You did?" Bucky asked, blinking at Steve.

"Yeah, I did," Steve replied, flattening his palm against the counter top on the other side of the bar and leaning forward slightly. "You didn't come in at all."

"I was on a mission," Bucky said, since he knew that Steve could be trusted. He had openly heard a lot of people talk to Steve about what they were doing, and he had seen Steve around the SHIELD base a few times as well, talking to Nick Fury and Tony, and so maybe some of his army knowledge came in handy. "I only got back yesterday."

"Fury giving you a few days off to recuperate?" Steve asked and Bucky shrugged, because he didn't really like time off. He never really had anything to do, and since he didn't like going out in public, he pretty much just stayed at his apartment. And his apartment was...Kind of sad, at least that's what Clint said when he had come over. Natasha never really commented on it, and Tony had offered to buy him a whole other  _building_  because he said the place where he lived was 'just abysmal'. "Well, drinks on the house then. A thank you for your service," Steve winked at him and Bucky just blinked back in surprise. Someone down the other end of the bar was trying to get his attention, and Steve looked over at Wanda, who was also behind the bar because weirdly enough she sometimes worked there, but she was busy with someone else. "Sorry, I better go and work." And he  _did_  look sorry. Steve walked down to the other end up his beer and Bucky tapped his finger against the side of his beer, wondering if he should wait for Steve to come back.

But then, Steve was  _working_ , and why would he come back just to chat to Bucky anyway?

Bucky picked up his beer off the counter and turned to go back to the table with Natasha and Clint, but he paused when he saw Peter's face.

His eyes were big and there was a smile stretched across his face, nodding his head at Bucky.

"So you and Cap, huh?" He said knowingly and Bucky just frowned at him. Peter just kept on grinning, looking a little dopey, and Bucky quickly walked back to the table. Natasha gave him a knowing look, but continued her conversation with Clint. Bucky tried not to spend too much time staring at the bar where Steve was, but he knew that he wasn't being discreet about it.

And then Maria Hill came in, wearing her usual dark clothes and gun strapped to her hip and probably a knife pinned against her leg, and she walked up to the counter expectantly. Steve smiled at her to begin with, but then he frowned and sighed, and nodded his head at her as she spoke to him. He said something to Wanda and she nodded, and then Steve was walking around to the other side of the bar and he and Maria were walking to the back of the building. There were stairs at the back, and Bucky had seen Steve go up there sometimes, so maybe there was an office or something up there.

Natasha and Clint left close to twelve, but while Bucky would generally leave with them, he didn't. He moved to the bar, where Peter had been sitting earlier, and ordered another beer. Wanda served him with a small smile and went about cleaning up behind the bar. There didn't really seem to be an official closing time, but close to two, everyone was gone apart from Wanda and Bucky.

And Maria, who was upstairs with Steve.

"Are you okay?" Wanda asked, her accent lilting.

"Yeah," Bucky replied, dipping his head in a nod. He and Wanda had never really spent much time together, outside of sometimes training together and going on the occasional mission. But he knew that she was powerful, everyone knew that she was  _incredibly_  powerful, she could influence thoughts and read minds and there was this glowing red light that would surround her hands and fly out from her body and the things it would do...Well, Bucky wouldn't want to be on the other side of her. "Why do you work here?" He asked suddenly, surprising himself. Wanda didn't look put off by the question, she just lifted and dropped a shoulder as she wiped a damp cloth over wooden counter top on her side.

"I like doing something other than...Fighting," Wanda scrunched up her nose, and Bucky wondered what her eyes looked like, but they were dropped downward. "And I like working with Steve...He helps me a lot. And meeting other people, who don't look at me like I'm...A monster," her voice had dropped low for the last two words, but Bucky heard them, and he blinked in surprise. He had been with SHIELD technically for two years now, but really, it had only been about a year, because the first year was just a total mess. He had to get the programming out of his head and try to get all of his memories back and then actually accept that maybe he could do something  _right_. Wanda had been there for a lot longer, at least from what he understood. She had a good relationship with Natasha and Clint, and her and her brother were close, and the way she interacted with other SHIELD agents made it seem as though she had been there for years.

Maybe he was wrong.

It wasn't as though he had asked, he wasn't really good at getting close to people.

"I get that," Bucky said quietly and Wanda flashed him a quick but genuine smile.

"So what are you doing here?" She asked as she picked up some bottles that had gathered at the other end of the counter.

"I'm..." Bucky's eyebrows drew together, not sure how to answer. "I don't know."

"Steve and Maria could be a while," she told him quietly and Bucky's frown deepened, because he wasn't sure how Wanda meant that. Wanda quickly shook her head. "Not like that, just Steve helps them a lot, and you know what Maria is like," she made a face. "Really thorough." Bucky nodded, because he didn't have a lot to do with Maria directly, but when they were in being briefed and then de-briefed, she made sure she covered  _everything_. Bucky stayed at the bar, finishing his drink slowly, not really sure what he was thinking about as he stared at the fridges and the high wooden shelves behind the bar, filled with expensive bottles of alcohol.

He wasn't sure why he was waiting either, it wasn't as though he and Steve had never even really held a conversation.

But Steve had said he missed him...And then he hadn't looked happy when Maria had come in, and that wasn't fair, because Steve always smiled and talked to everyone. He gave people his full attention, and was attentive and looked at them as though he wasn't interested in anyone else, making sure that they felt as though they were valued. Bucky had seen it happen enough times to know that it was just Steve, he was just a really good person, and so he didn't like that something had made him sad.

Even though it was technically none of his business.

"Barnes," came a clipped voice as Maria was all of a sudden walking past him, and Bucky turned to watch her over his shoulder as she walked to the door of the bar and then left quickly. Bucky turned to look over at the stairs at the back of the bar, but Steve didn't come down. Wanda had been moving around the bar, wiping down all the tables and lifting the chairs up, turning them over and putting them on the tables, except for the bar stools, which she just pushed all the way in. Once the door had closed behind Maria, flicked her fingers, and red swirls fastened the lock on the door before she went back to cleaning.

Bucky was guessing that she could probably clean with her red magic somehow? But she chose not to and he didn't comment on it.

"Buck?" Steve was standing halfway down the stairs, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. But he didn't look annoyed or angry that Bucky had been waiting for him, just confused. "Uh, you can head out Wanda," Steve's eyes shifted. "You alright to get home?" Wanda looked amused, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, Steve, I'm pretty sure I can manage to get home safely," Wanda said, walking over to the stairs, and Steve came down until he was on the ground next to her, giving her a hug and kissing her on the cheek. Bucky was relatively certain that if anyone threatened Wanda on her way home, then  _they_  would be the ones that needed to kept safe, but he didn't comment. Wanda walked over to the bar to pick up her jacket, gave Bucky a quick smile before leaving, and locking the door behind her. Steve stayed where he was, at the bottom the stairs and looking at Bucky with calm, blue eyes.

"Did you want to come up?" He finally asked, tipping his head to the side, indicating up the stairs.

"To your office?" Bucky asked and Steve frowned before letting out a short laugh.

"To my apartment," he corrected Bucky. "I live above the bar."

"Oh," Bucky realized and then surprised himself by nodding. "Okay." He looked down at the empty beer bottle in his hand, wondering what to do with it when Steve spoke up again.

"It's fine, just leave it there, I'll take care of it later," he said. Bucky slid off the bar stool and Steve headed up the stairs, not seeming to bother about the lights. Wanda had turned off most of them, and behind the bar was dark, but there was still the smaller, more yellow lights that glowed around the sides of the bar. Bucky followed Steve up the steps. There was a door at the top that was open, and Bucky went right through after Steve, not even considering stopping.

Which was a first for him.

Maybe not always, but definitely in a long time.

But Steve was...Safe.

And safe was good.

"Did you want something to drink?" Steve asked from it sounded like the next room. The room it opened up to was a lounge, and there was mismatched furniture that looked cosy and inviting, and there was artwork and posters on the walls, and things piled up on the shelves on the walls. Bucky looked around but it wasn't to check out his surroundings in the careful way he usually would, making sure that everything was safe. It didn't even occur to him to do that, and as soon as he realized—just as he was about to walk into the kitchen which was through the doorway to his right—he stopped short. "I've got water, wine, beer, coffee, tea—"

"Just water," Bucky replied, feeling tense all of a sudden now that he knew that any security precautions that had been entrenched into his veins after his time at HYDRA had suddenly just flown out the window. Steve hadn't even needed to do anything, he had just been  _Steve_ , and apparently that had been enough for Bucky to just...Walk into a random apartment without thinking twice about it.

"What was that?" Came another call from Steve, and then Bucky thought about how unsafe  _Steve_  was being, just letting him into the house. People knew who Bucky was. The  _Winter Soldier_  had been a pretty public figure for being such an anonymous face. Most of the world knew about what he had done, people all over the world, even if they didn't know what he looked like. But the people of SHIELD did know— _Steve_  knew, and he was just letting Bucky into his apartment, was leaving him in the lounge as he went into another room, didn't seem to be caring one  _bit_  about his safety.

That wasn't good.

Steve needed to be kept safe.

He was important to a lot of people, that was clear just in the interactions that Bucky witnessed in the bar or occasionally around the SHIELD base.

"Bucky?" Steve was back in the same room as Bucky, and raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"Oh, uh...Water. Water's fine," Bucky replied and Steve nodded, smiling again, making his eyes glitter. Bucky would really like it if Steve just stood there and smiled, and he could look at him, because he wanted to commit every single micro-expression to memory, every little wrinkle besides Steve's eyes and the glimpses of his teeth.

But it was creepy to stare.

That's what Clint said.

And Bucky guessed it was, he hated it when people stared at him. It was just a big part of his life  _before_ , he watched a lot, but it was always from the shadows, not out in the open, like he was now.

"You shouldn't just let people into your apartment," Bucky found himself saying as he followed Steve into the next room. "It's not safe." Steve was filling a glass with water, and he had an amused expression on his face as he turned back around to Bucky, and held out the glass.

"I think I'm pretty safe," Steve replied.

"You don't know that," Bucky replied, and for some reason, he could feel this feeling in his stomach, curling around tightly and making him  _worried_ , even though he hadn't been given any reason to. And it kind of annoyed him that Steve didn't look bothered at all either, he was still smiling, as Bucky took the glass from the blonde and lifted it to his lips. He really wasn't thirsty, but he wasn't sure why he was here, and he knew that he didn't want to leave, so he had just grasped at the first thing Steve had said and run with it.

"Someone would have to be pretty stupid to break in here and cause trouble," Steve shrugged a shoulder and waved a finger around the room they were in.

"People  _are_  stupid," Bucky shrugged and he was surprised when Steve let out a low laugh. He drank from his glass again, and then kept on drinking until it was he handed it back to Steve, their fingers pressed together for a moment before Steve drew his hand away and put the glass down on the bench. They both fell quiet for a moment, and Bucky wasn't sure what to say, but that didn't seem to matter, because Steve continued.

"Thanks for keeping Wanda company while she was cleaning up," Steve said, resting back against the bench, bracing his arms along the bench top, his biceps emphasized by the position, and Bucky couldn't help but let his eyes wander. Bucky was  _very_  much in shape, and yet Steve seemed to put him to shame. He wondered why a bartender had to be so  _incredibly_  in shape. "Usually I'm down there with her, but..." the smile faded from his face, and Bucky didn't like that.

"What did Hill want?" Bucky asked, moving to stand against the bench, the one that was at a ninety degree angle to Steve, so he wasn't right next to him, but he was close.

"There's an...Intelligence op coming up," Steve began slowly. "Maria wants me to go."

"To go on an op?" Bucky frowned. "Why?" Steve looked at him strangely, eyebrows pulled together, and Bucky realized that maybe it had come out as an insult, as though he was questioning Steve's skill. It wasn't as though Bucky knew about Steve's skill, though, but given he had been a captain, he knew that he was good at what he did. "I just meant...Don't you have a bar to run?" That wasn't quite what he had meant, but he left it at that. Steve smiled again, looking a bit more relaxed.

"I've got people I trust to look after the bar," he replied.

"Like Wanda?" Bucky asked.

"Like Wanda," Steve nodded. "And a few others." Bucky pursed his lips together for a moment before attempting a small smile. He wasn't particularly good at it, not like he probably used to be, but it felt like a start, his lips tilted up in the corners. And Steve seemed to appreciate it, given the smile he returned to the dark haired man.

"I don't mind helping...If you need it," Bucky offered and Steve's smile shifted. It looked even more genuine,  _somehow_ —because Steve always looked genuine anyway—but it seemed almost private, just for Bucky.

"Thanks, Buck. I appreciate it," Steve murmured, and it made Bucky's heart beat faster in his chest as both of them fell quiet. Bucky's eyes dropped from Steve's eyes down to his lips, looking at the fullness of his lower one, and the little dip in the top one.

They would fit really well against Bucky's.

He knew it without even kissing Steve.

Although he wanted to.

He really wanted to.

The want—maybe even  _need_ —that suddenly hit him was surprisingly overwhelming.

Bucky had kissed girls. Maybe a lot of them. The only ones that he explicitly remembered were the ones in the past two years. There had been one, and his body seemed to remember how it felt, and what to do, even if Bucky couldn't fully keep up with it. He had also kissed guys, and he liked it, more than he had liked kissing girls, he was pretty sure. He had done  _more_  with guys as well, undoubtedly before, but at least three times in the past two years, things that he could vividly remember, remember  _everything_  of.

And he had liked it.

He had  _really_  liked it.

And he had a feeling that with Steve, he would like it even more.

"Bucky?" Steve's voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and Bucky  _saw_  it more than heard, saw the way Steve's lips moved to shape his name.  _His_  name.

"Yeah?" Bucky managed to say, although his voice came out in a rasp, and he wasn't sure how long the delay between Steve's comment and his response was, because he was still staring at Steve's mouth. He wasn't being subtle at all, but that was the last thing on his mind. He didn't realize it, because his body was doing it subconsciously, but he was slowly leaning in closer.

"Are you going to kiss me?" Steve asked and it shocked Bucky, at how blatant Steve was being. He blinked and realized what he was doing, leaning in so that there was only about a foot between them, and he jerked, pulling back a little. But Steve reached out for him, gripping his forearm, although not too firmly.

"Do you...Want me to kiss you?" Bucky asked hesitantly and Steve sucked the corner of his lower lip into his mouth it the most  _beautiful_  way.

"Yes," Steve replied instantly and Bucky's eyebrows raised even higher, disappearing underneath his shaggy hair. He licked his lips and he noted how Steve's lower lip was redder than the top one, because of how he had been nibbling it. He pushed off the bench, stepping away from it and standing properly in front of Steve. Steve didn't straightened up, he stayed where he was, slumped a little so that Bucky was actually taller than him, even though usually he wouldn't be. Bucky didn't say anything before reaching and resting his hands on Steve's hips, and then pressing their mouths together.

Steve relaxed under his touch, his hips moving forward ever so slightly at Bucky's grip, but other than that, he let Bucky lead the way. He tilted his head to the side and opened his mouth when Bucky's tongue touched against his lips, and Bucky felt a shiver run down his spine as Steve tongue touched his. He was pretty sure he felt a shiver from Steve as well, as the their tongues moves against one another. Bucky wanted to taste everything Steve had to give, and the blonde lifted a hand to cup Bucky's cheek, his thumb brushing through some hair that had fallen down.

When their lips parted, just another for them to draw in a breath, Bucky opened his eyes and Steve did the same. Their noses bumped together and Bucky saw Steve's eyes brighten even more, his lips tipping up in a smile before he leaned in to kiss Bucky once before. And then again.

"Is this why you invited me up?" Bucky asked and Steve's smile turned a little devilish.

"You got a problem with that?" He asked, a knowing glint in his eyes.

"Fuck no," Bucky retorted and Steve let out a laugh as he leaned back in.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a review, let me know what you think of this first one!


End file.
